It’s me, the cat! (Diary of a crazy cat lady)

Oh hey you guys, Hey!!!  I’m so happy you’re here. Hey!!! Look at you, you’re upside down! Let’s all scream together ok!! Hey!!!!! HEY HEY HEY!!  Ok now that that is over with I’m going to take a people nap. Be right back. 

I’m back!! Hey!!!!! Mom doesn’t have anything to say today and thought I should take over and tell you about my day. So first thing this morning I woke up super cheerful as usual. Then I played with moms face for an hour until the big machine fed me. I’m watching my figure so I only ate a few bites. My bestest friend Killer seems like she needs the food more since her belly is bigger and she enjoys it more. So I always save her a little of mine. I love her. 

Then while Mom got ready to leave I played with her some more. I jump in the closet, mess up her clothes, and she takes me out. I jump back in, she takes me out. I jump in, she takes me out. Yay!! It’s so much fun. Then I jumped in and mom closed the doors and left me in there for 28 hours. It was dark and I was a little scaredy Scout. Then I ate this green stuff mom gave me. Then I got that green stuff out of me. Then I played with my new cat friend Belle. She’s really nice too, but makes a weird loud noise. I love her though.

 

Killer here. Go f*&# yourself. I’m not talking to any of you. Who wants to read a cat blog anyway. That’s stupid. But if someone is reading this, help me please. I can’t stand that other cat. She’s always so happy. And that dog that thinks she’s a cat is even worse. Get me out of here. Or at least bring me some food that isn’t diet. 

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