Grumblings of Killer, the cat.

Killer here.

I’m starting to get real fed up with this girl. First of all, we all stay in one room. ONE! At my last place of residence I had an entire house to myself, and if I felt like I needed a little exercise (which, god look at me, is never!) I could run up and down the stairs. It was also nice that I could get away from that megaphone with whiskers anytime I chose. The sound of her voice is so obnoxious I want to sit on her until she suffocates. Combine that with the girl singing loudly, might be the worst duet of screeches I’ve heard. But now that we all shoved into this cell, I have to lure the small loud one into an open suitcase and close the lid. That shit is heavy to do alone and I’m sick of it.

So, today I decided to go on the lamb and check out what’s outside the door. Turns out, it’s awesome. There’s like a whole other world out there. Why has she been keeping this from me??

Who does this person think they are? This isn’t MY doormat? Of course it is Idiot, everything I step on is mine.

It’s like a fun house in here, which door do I choose?

Speaking of her, she is constantly coming home smelling like crap. And I can see the stray hairs on her, and those unruly strands certainly do NOT belong to me. She thinks I’m stupid, but I know what’s happening. I even found proof on her phone.

How is she going to explain this one?!?

Whatever. I’ll just go out to my secret garden when she’s taking one of her many daily naps.

I hate you.

Killer.

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