(*To preface this – grandparents, parents, current and future employees, I do not use illegal drugs.)
This weekend we had a friend in town who had a pretty crappy birthday a few weeks ago, so we decided to throw him an impromptu belated party. Hilarie and I snuck away to find balloons, dessert, and a present. This friend enjoys the occasional puff of the magic dragon, so we got a brilliant idea.
Every day on the way home from work, I pass by ‘Weed World Candies’. It’s a bright green van covered in marijuana plants, with a guy selling “weed lollipops” out the window. They claim there is a small amount of THC in them, enough to give you a buzz, and not be illegal. I’m not really sure how that works, it’s possible, probable, they are selling regular lollipops for $5 each.*
Anyways, Hilarie and I got the idea to go find the Weed Man, and get our friend some lollipops. We’re probably the two worst people in the world to go out on a search for illegal drugs. Two sweet, nicely dressed, hair done, southern gals. One of us has never tried it, and the other…well, she’s wearing a cat sweater right now. We went to the spot on 7th Ave. where I usually see him, but he wasn’t there. Then we went to Union Square keeping our eyes peeled for the not-so-subtle vehicle. Finally, we just started saying “weed” really loud.
We were able to find his number online, so Hilarie called him, and said, “Hello? Where are you tonight? We are looking to purchase some marijuana lollipops” in her sweet, southern twang. (Okay, so maybe she didn’t say that exactly). That approach didn’t elicit a response to his location, so I tried a different way.
I texted him, using as many abbreviations as I could.
Whr can I get that candy I at un sq u close
(Where can I get that candy, I’m at union square, are you close?)
It’s harder than it looks to channel improper grammar and slang. But he did respond ‘yea’. When I asked what corner he was on, I never got a response.
We finally had to give up our adventure of ‘gettin’ that candy, man’ and went home empty handed.
Update: I’ve done some more research on these ‘weed pops’ and they are ‘hemp-flavored lollipops’ and mostly a political movement. The are making a killing off confused buyers thinking they are actually buying marijuana out in the open. Check out this video, from Animal NY who spent a day with them.