I haven’t written in awhile, because I’ve doing things I signed my life away NOT to talk about, so there’s professional doom hanging over my head if I tell you who did what where, and what they were wearing.
Mostly though, I’ve been sitting at home sewing. I can’t show you any of that though, because it all sucks. I’m working on three projects simultaniously – they have all turned out crap (I wasn’t using a pattern). So I’ve spent the past couple nights scouring the internet for cheap patterns and will await their arrival before I use my beautiful, expensive fabric as practice again.
I also made a duct tape model form. While waiting for my lovely assistant, Hilarie to arrive, I took the time to pre-wrap myself in Syran Wrap which I read makes it more accurate in the long run. It took her longer than expected to arrive, and I started shvitzing inside my self-induced torture chamber. I tried doing random things around the apartment to distract from it, but I had just limited my mobility to basically taking penguins steps. Boredom ensued, and all I could do was send humiliating pictures of myself in Saran Wrap to unsuspecting friends. Sorry, if you were one of those.
Once Hilarie arrived, I was ready to have her cut me free, but instead, she spent the next hour carefully placing duct tape on me, constricting me even more, while I complained of breathing problems.
Since all you people have still been showing up daily and I’ve got nothing to share with you, I’ll send you over to my friend Sophie’s indigogo fundraiser. In a year she lost 100 pounds, and now has excess skin that causes rashes, pinching, and as she says “a deflated balloon” body. That sounds about as comfortable as being wrapped in plastic and duct tape. She’s raising money for reconstructive skin surgery, so do your good deed for the day and help a girl out. $10 will get you a BIG internet hug and a handwritten letter! Here’s some pictures of us being adorable in preschool, and even cuter this New Year’s.
I’ll be performing in a circus and hiking the Inca Trail soon, so check back with me.